


if i lived in darkness (would you be my light?)

by chariiots



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Corruption, Crime AU, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, officer jihoon, vigilante soonyoung
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-10-26 03:48:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10778937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chariiots/pseuds/chariiots
Summary: the city is full of greed and darkness, and he can only watch as it crumbles along with his childhood dreams. it's a bleak future for others, with the increasing poverty gap and the abuse of power by officials, but a mildly decent one for him and soonyoung at least.or; where jihoon is willing to bend the law, just for soonyoung.[crime and corruption! au]





	if i lived in darkness (would you be my light?)

the gun in his hand is heavy, a deadweight reminding him of all the people he's sabotaged, the lies he's spun, the lives he's ruined, the families he's torn apart. he wishes he could feel guilt for what he's done. he really does. but, it's become such a regular thing that it's hard to feel anything anymore. the only gratification he gets from all of this is the cold, hard cash.

he swears, his actions are justified. it's a dog eat dog world out there, now more cruel than ever. the president made so many promises, but political campaigns are fraught with lies and starry-eyed children have to grow up. he's grown up now, even though he wish he hadn't.

he remembers a time when he was five, he wanted to be an officer. all he wanted was to uphold the law and bring criminals to justice. he's now twenty-five, and actually an officer, but the rest is all thrown out of the window with the corruption in the city tainting almost every official, even the president. the city is full of greed and darkness, and he can only watch as it crumbles along with his childhood dreams. it's a bleak future for others, with the increasing poverty gap and the abuse of power by officials, but a mildly decent one for him and soonyoung at least.

he'd do anything for soonyoung. all he wants to do is to make soonyoung's life more comfortable, so that he wouldn't need to work himself to the bone everyday anymore. his pay cheque and... well, bribes, are more than enough to cover the cost of living for both their families and the two of them. jihoon would never tell him where the extra money comes from, though. he knows too well that soonyoung would never approve of him being a part of it all.

soonyoung talks about him like he put the stars in the sky, and every time a praise leaves his lips, it's like a gunshot to jihoon's heart. he likes telling their friends about how he's an officer that's actually uncorrupted, with the rarity of them these days. the day he came back after striking a deal with a gang - 50 million won for the cover up of one of their major drug deals - soonyoung was home already, there to swathe him in love, and a little bit of shame. it's all dirty cash that they're living on, and soonyoung is too pure to deserve to live on such lies.

there's a vigilante network that the whole of the force knows about, out to expose each and every one of the officers for their corruption. they don't understand that they need to do this for their families. it's not an option anymore in this day and age. they don't understand that he does this for love.

the vigilante network is the reason he's standing here, in front of a heavy oak door, gun in his trembling hand. he doesn't want to do this anymore, but he has to. it's a lose-lose situation here, work with the vigilantes or quit, and have himself get arrested for counts of suddenly uncovered corruption. stay with the police force, and have guilt slowly eat him up. even if he tries to change his ways, he'll still end up having to help other officers cover up their corruption. it's like... a family. a family he doesn't want to be part of, but he still has to have their back for his own good.

"police! open the door on the count of three, or i'll break in!"

it's not too late, he tries to reason.

"one!"

he can still turn back.

"two!"

say the vigilante escaped, help in their efforts.

"three!"

but, he knows better. he knew from the start that there was no turning back.

he busts down the door, and there stands a man by the window, ready to jump. the thing is, jihoon remembers him. he remembers the man from the curve of his hips, the smirk on his lips, the warmth of his touch, but he doesn't remember ever seeing that chilling, dead look in his eyes. it seems like he's not the only person keeping a secret, considering kwon soonyoung is standing right there, and the irony of the situation makes him want to laugh. or cry. he doesn't know anymore. the person he worked so hard for, did all of this for, is one of those trying their best to destroy it.

"soonyoung, please don't. step away from the window, i'm begging you."

"ji. you're going to have to account for me going missing if you let me go, won't you? you're going to lose your job, lose your source of income. isn't money all you officers care about?" he spits venomously. "i thought better of you. i loved you."

"soonyoung, please!"

"i'm doing both of us a favour." with that, he turns, and jumps out of the window. he tries, he tries so hard to stop him, but his legs aren't able to carry him fast enough and he's collapsing on the floor as soonyoung disappears from his sight. his body is wrecked with sobs, because the one thing in this hellhole that he actually cared about is dead. dead, dead, dead. he died disgusted by him, died hating him, died repulsed by the people like him and he just wants to turn back time.

jihoon just wants to be with him in a small apartment talking about anything under the sun, the noisy city nightlife as their background music, because that's good enough. he never needed mansions and riches, so long as he had soonyoung. he made everything in this hell bearable. hell, he'd throw away everything, their penthouse, his job, everything, just so that he could turn back time and start anew. so that soonyoung wouldn't have died. he just wanted to make soonyoung happy. he just wanted to take away the burden of money from their lives. the gun in his hand is deadweight, and he can only think of one way to lighten the burden.

there are two bodies to be found that day, one in an abandoned apartment, one on the streets. there is no love to be found that day, only regret and disappointment hanging in the air.

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally a piece for a competition, but i forgot the deadline and kind of forgot to submit this, so i decided to redo it a bit and post it. i need to stop writing angst omg i feel like i'm out to make everyone suffer T.T
> 
> to answer any questions: soonyoung was about to escape, not commit suicide. but, upon realizing it's jihoon, he realized that if he runs away, jihoon would get into trouble, and he knows jihoon doesn't have it in him to arrest him. he knows that they wouldn't be able to face each other anymore after this, and a life without jihoon isn't worth living anyway. jihoon, on the other hand, was 100% ready to lie to cover up for soonyoung, but things didn't go the way he planned.
> 
> [prompt me!](https://cheriiots.tumblr.com/ask)
> 
> social media: [tumblr](https://cheriiots.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/chariiots) | [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/woozwhy)


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